Well-meaning coaches everywhere are telling actors to treat their careers like a business. We’re told to be the “CEO of our own Company”. We’re expected to spend a minimum number of hours working hard at our business. But working towards a bottom line “at all costs” is a prescription for anxiety and depression.
It’s what happens when a person finds themself to be the only person who’s survived a tragic event. This past year, in spite of the pandemic, my auditions have surprisingly increased. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don’t feel guilty about this, so I try keep it to myself. Are you keeping the good things in your life a secret?
As soon as I came back from my family vacation, I was hit hard with non-stop auditions. In July, I had fifteen of ’em in nineteen days, including two callbacks (see video above). Some say it’s not cool to mention this when so many actors are suffering dry spells, but attempting to control other people’s feelings is a losing game.
I woke up feeling sad the other day,
but didn’t know why.
I just knew that it felt bad.
My experience wasn’t about correcting the sadness, but rather about how I judged it. I laughed as I saw the simplicity in it all. Could it really be that easy? Yes, because I felt it.
(Originally Published January 6, 2020)
At a recent audition, I entered a small waiting area, and saw only one other actress. She was standing, facing the wall with her back to the center of the tiny room. She was “getting into the zone”. I grabbed the keys to the ladies room and left. When I returned, she was still facing the wall. Suddenly it occurred to me – she was trying to “toughen her mind”. I could tell by her body language that she was trying to control her fears. In that moment, I realized,
Oh, I don’t have to do that. None of us have to do that!
I exhaled, knowing that I’d already done the work, and that’s all I needed to do. She was called into the room, and through the thin walls I could hear her mess up the first line. On her second try, she still messed it up. They gave her a redirect (I couldn’t hear what), which prompted her to improvise in her own words. It was obvious that she didn’t understand the script.
When we hold on to something too tightly, it’s bound to slip away from us. When we’re more concerned about messing up than being in the moment, we’re bound to…mess it up. Even if we don’t forget a line, we’re liable to forget context, relationship, wants – all that stuff we spent so much time & money learning – only to end up giving just a “meh” audition.
Audition stress can be boiled down to one thing –
the result of making something too precious.
This usually happens when we’re not getting as many auditions or bookings as we’d like. We’ve put so much weight on it. It’s as if this is our only (or most important) audition, as if this is the only time an office will ever call us in. We don’t even realize we’re doing it, but the heaviness is there. And then if we hear nothing – depression sets in. Making something too precious can drive us mad. We all know what happened to Gollum.
When it was my turn to go in,
I was focused and relaxed at the same time. It was…unusual. We’ve all heard that we are the solution to casting’s problem, but at that moment, I knew it. When I was done, they were speechless. Literally, silence hung in the air as the writer, directer, producer and CD all stared at me, waiting for/ wanting me to continue, but there was no more dialogue. Finally, the director simply said, “Can you do it again?” No re-direct. I felt he just wanted to see if I could replicate was I’d just done. And I did.
Be an Actor in Motion.
Consider the power of being an “Actor in Motion”. There’s more to an actor’s life than just being on set. Really. When we see this, we begin to see our auditions as just… something we do. They are part of the fabric of our “working actor life”. We know that there will be more. Most importantly, we know we have an actor’s life that’s filled with behind the scenes maintenance that is fun to do, like marketing and classes. (And if it’s not fun, it’s only because we’ve already decided it doesn’t matter.) See movies & shows, read scripts, surround yourself with fellow actors who are doing the work, not just talking about it.
My best clients delight in career surprises, and allow for life/work balance.
They understand how “sacrificing your way to success” is an outdated social lie.
“I work with committed, driven actors who know they should be doing their marketing, but aren’t.” This elevator speech doesn’t quite communicate what goes beyond my marketing and postcard work. Whether I work with someone on a simple mailing, or a three month branding program, or in Action Group, or one-on-one coaching, I share more. I share with them a glimpse of their infinite value. Stick with me for a second.
I see, I listen, and then I shine a light on the actor’s value & inner wisdom.
Once you get a glimpse of that, there’s no going back.
We don’t need motivation. All we need is a reminder of who we are: valuable, wise people. Some may say, “I know who I am. I don’t need anyone to tell me my value.” If that’s true, I ask, then why are you working so hard to prove it? Why the endless to-do lists, excessive time spent on useless research, and overkill with classes, headshots & social media? My mission statement confirms: When we rely on recognition outside of ourselves, we are seduced into traps of rule following, people-pleasing, and working “hard” to prove ourselves.
There’s so much noise going on in our heads that we can’t hear our own wisdom.
We see countless social media posts touting the efforts of “the grind” and “the hustle”. Friends regularly post memes of sweating athletes or determined celebrities who worship discipline and hard work, and anything less than that is judged as laziness or dumb luck. Those magical times when we effortlessly receive abundance – and I know you have – are dismissed it as a fluke and then we express guilt for not having worked harder. I can think of nothing more self-defeating.
It is becoming easier and easier for me to live my best life, and I invite you to learn about it in my blog. I want you to experience the ease of doing more, but working less. Or you can ask me questions in person at public events. (Info in my monthly newsletter.)
Wouldn’t you rather enjoy 2019 in a Chill New Way, as opposed to gritting your teeth through “the grind”?
Next speaking event will be January 19th, My slot: 2:30pm-3pm, at the 2019 Pilot Season Career Productivity Meet-Up.
Last year December 26th, I hosted a FaceBook Live event titled, What’s the Big Deal About Pilot Season?. Today I noticed that my talk not only still hits the mark, but I am now living proof of it. In the video, I said that Pilot Season had become artificially hyped up, and so I challenged viewers to take on the rest of the year just as seriously. I pointed out that being proactive can be as simple as just showing up.
Back in March, I was on a treadmill of episodic callbacks but no bookings. (I know, I know, a good problem to have.) As I was allowing self-doubt, anger, and fear to rule my mental health, I got another audition. This one fueled my anger. After all of the great auditions I had, I couldn’t believe I was being asked to go in for a “one-liner”. I couldn’t believe that after auditioning for educated, professional roles, I was being asked to go in for a Latina housekeeper.
Piss off, I’m not going!
Today’s topic: “What’s the Big Deal About Pilot Season?” Ask yer questions!
Posted by Doreen Calderon on Tuesday, December 26, 2017
As soon as I had expressed that thought, I knew it wasn’t practical, but I also knew I needed to change my attitude. I reached out to a friend, and asked her to remind me why I should show up for this one. Very simply, she pointed out that I needed to meet the casting director, and that I needed a job. Practical and impersonal. That’s all I needed to hear.
I was so busy, that I didn’t notice that this was a pilot audition. When I booked it, I forgot that this was my first pilot! Long story short, my story beat the odds. The series got picked up, and I’ve been called back three times (so far). It’s exciting for me to be a part – regardless how small – of a successful new show.
Here’s the thing: I didn’t go through pilot season wanting to book one. I just focused on booking a job. There’s a saying, “Shoot for the stars, and you’ll land on the moon.” In my case, I shot for the moon and landed on a star.
And the only thing I did was show up.
Booking a pilot doesn’t have to be your goal, but you must have a goal. Your choice will determine your actions. No choice, no action. Where you end up can be a very pleasant surprise!